Just because the boss has a following at work, doesn’t mean you are going to be a follower.
You have no idea why your opinion is so different than your peers and that has you scratching your head. The deal is, when you can’t stand the boss; it can make your work life miserable.
The great thing about this situation is that you have people around you who see this person differently than you do. All is not lost. You could very likely change your reactions to the boss. The key to this situation is: change. Change can be a tough thing to do particularly when you’re convinced of all of the boss’s flaws and look for daily confirmation that you’re right. We get very invested in our attitudes about people. We think that the boss is the one who needs to change. The reason why it’s got to be you to change is because you are the only one in this equation that you can control.
Here are some tips for how you can change and improve how you view the boss:
This must be actual, observable actions the boss exhibits. All too often when we don’t like someone, we start attributing our beliefs about this person more than true behavior. Spending time getting down to something real is important to solving this problem.
1-Spend some time understanding the behavior the boss has that doesn’t work for you.
Ask enough questions so you can hear examples of what they see and how they see the positive qualities in the boss.
2-Sit down with various people in your group to gain an understanding of what attributes they see in the boss.
Don’t try to convince them that they shouldn’t like the boss but simply ask them if they see the same things that you do. You may find that these issues are not considered a big deal or that they are of minor concern compared to the positives they see. We all have “warts” so it could be that you are placing much more importance on the flaws than is necessary.
3-With a select handful of people you speak to about the bosses attributes, ask them about the observable behaviors that you now better understand.
Most people tend to avoid a person they don’t like. This does nothing to help you improve your perspectives about this person. Often when we get to know a person better the flaws we once saw become minimized.
4-Spend time getting to know the boss and the attributes you have learned about from your peers.
You could be blowing things out of proportion and if that is true for this boss it could be how you react on many things. As a general rule there are very few things that warrant strong, negative feelings and if you have other unlikeable people you know, you may need to seek help so you can put things in their proper proportion. Even if your reactions are mostly narrowed down to the boss, chances are still high that you are over reacting and need to counsel yourself to rethink what and how you react.
You may never turn into a fan of the boss. The clue that you can improve from where you are now is in the fact that your peers find value where you don’t. You can learn from your peers and do a great deal to improve your view of this person. You’re not compromising your values. You’re working at gaining insight that you may currently lack. It’s worth the effort because you spend a lot of your life around the boss and it will improve your outlook.
Brought to you by Dorothy Tannahill-Moran – dedicated to unleash your professional potential.