Confidence Is So Damn Sexy!_The Introvert
- Guest Author
- November 23, 2015
- Career Development, Dealing with Fear, Emotional Intelligence
- No responses
Many people who meet us (and don’t yet have the pleasure of knowing us!) usually think we’re not the most confident beings. Maybe shy, aloof — and perhaps not so poised? However, isn’t it just a matter of perception…or subjectivity? There is a big difference between feeling confident and looking confident. In a world brimming with extroverts, the appearance of confidence is a highly desirable trait. But, we don’t always get the entire picture when we see someone acting outgoing. Right?
For example, if you see a woman working the room at a business function and she’s laughing wildly at every joke she hears…even the really bad ones, you might perceive her as someone who is highly confident. In reality, she may have had one too many vodka tonics at lunch. Or, maybe she really is insecure and just needs the attention and approval of others to boost her self-worth? Keep in mind that perception and reality are two very different things. A confident introvert looks much different than a confident extrovert.
As a confident introvert, you don’t have anything to prove to anyone. You may even be quiet because you are confident — quietly observing your surroundings. It’s possible to have a high self-esteem without feeling the need to be super outgoing and stand out in a crowd. Don’t view your quietness as a weakness. It may actually be a strength. When you’re in a group of people, you’re more than likely doing more listening than talking. When you feel like you have something meaningful to contribute, you do so. In fact, people may be more apt to listen to you because they know you don’t waste your breath on small talk and idle chitchat. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) As an introvert, you speak when you have something important to say. That is confidence — introvert style!
Embracing your introverted self is incredibly important. You need to be confident in your own skin. Don’t always feel that you have to speak up or ramble on about nothing (which we hate, by the way!) Speak up and join the conversation when you have something meaningful to contribute. Use your listening skills to their full advantage. As introverts, we are super awesome listeners. We are often the first ones our friends turn to when they need to talk. Why? Because we listen…I mean really listen. We absorb and process — we aren’t itching to interrupt and blurt something out…and we’re not thinking of what we’re going to say next. We are fully immersed and engaged.
An observation that invariably comes up with introverts is someone saying, “Wow, I didn’t realize how shy you were!” Um, not so fast. Shyness and introversion are two completely different animals. It’s true, many introverts are shy, but shyness isn’t necessarily a part of being introverted — they don’t go hand in hand.
So, what are some things you can do to project a positive self-image? There are several — first and foremost, truly and honestly love and accept yourself just as you are…not minus 10 pounds from now, not once you land a certain job…right now, this very moment. Stand up tall. That’s right, no slouching! I’m an inch shy of six feet tall. When I was a kid, I hated my height. I was often referred to as “tree” and other wildly imaginative things that elementary school kids come up with. Now, I love it! I own it! I wear heels! Also, look people in the eye when you’re talking to them. Have a firm handshake. Don’t worry about what other people think of you…especially the negative ones. Just brush it off with a “Meh!” and move on!
Any introvert can project a healthy, sexy confidence with a little bit of effort and practice — even if you’re just standing there quietly. You are perfect just the way you are…don’t ever forget that!
Brought to you by Dorothy Tannahill-Moran – dedicated to unleash your professional potential.
Guest Author: Eryn Loney, MLA, CDF
Eryn Loney is an enthusiastic master’s-level professional and certified Career Development Facilitator (CDF) with over 20 years of experience assisting clients with their career counseling and job-related transition needs. She’s certified in Veterans Behavioral Health Care and Mental Health First Aid. Eryn is passionate about helping others achieve their professional, personal, and educational objectives through positive psychology and targeted coaching.
Eryn is an individualist who prefers to approach life in a not so traditional manner. Her husband likes to refer to her as a free-spirited fairy flitting around with a wand in one hand and a feather in the other. Um, what? If you need a friend to listen, care and nurture you, call Eryn. She’s a lover, not a fighter.
If Eryn were a TV character, she would be a bewitching blend of Elaine Benes, Lisa Simpson and JD (John Dorian.) She is committed to drinking as much chai tea as humanly possible every day. Eryn doesn’t have a typical philosophy for dealing with life, other than sometimes it’s absolutely necessary
to spray whipped cream directly into your mouth (and repeat as needed.)