How to handle feeling invisible
- Guest Author
- October 7, 2016
- No responses
Feeling invisible is one reoccurring issue introverts all over have to deal with. It’s certainly not a good feeling, and sometimes it really does prevent us from realising our true potential. Sounds a bit like you? Let’s read on, and check out some ways to go about it…
The one question
Right off the back, let’s get one thing sorted out. Are you feeling all right?
When talking about feeling invisible and being introverted, this is an important question to get right. Why? That’s because there’s no link between being introverted and feeling bad. Or at least there’s no reason why there should be. So, being introverted is not an excuse for feeling bad. Don’t let being introverted be an excuse for feeling bad. Okay?
Are you feeling all right?
So, let’s be honest for a moment. Are you feeling all right? This is an important question. Obviously, feeling invisible isn’t a good feeling. That’s for sure. But there’s still a difference between reacting to feeling invisible in some situations, and generally feeling bad. This is the first step. Take some time to figure this one out.
If you realise that you generally feel bad, you can check out some other resources on how to go about it. Otherwise, let’s just continue talking about feeling invisible. Here are 3 tips on how to approach it on your own.
Find confidence in the situation
There might be many reasons why you would feel invisible in a social setting. Maybe you’re at work, and you find it hard to get your ideas heard, or you find it hard getting to talk freely in meetings. One good tip is to start by getting confident about the situation.
What does that even mean? Well… Sometimes, a hard situation turns bad pretty quickly when we don’t have the confidence to feel safe in our roles – when we don’t trust that we actually know what to say or do. Taking the time to make sure that you have your plate clean might do wonders when it’s time to speak up.
Let’s use the workplace as an example. If you don’t want to feel invisible next time there’s a big meeting, make sure you know your stuff. Prepare for the meeting, so that you know you can answer questions about the things you are responsible for. Get your facts straight. In general, just be prepared.
When you know your stuff, you can feel safe that you know what to say or do. Especially, when it comes to settings at work, it’s amazing how powerful it is when you feel so safe that you get out of your head and just start doing. Then you can do it your way, and still be heard – introverted or not.
Find your style
When it’s time to speak, what do you do? Ideally, it should be enough to just be yourself. As long as you get out of your head, and focus only on the topic at hand, this should come naturally. This is how you are, how you speak, how you behave.
We’ll not cover how to become a great public speaker in this article. We simply assume that your co-workers will respect you as long as you act natural. That ought to be enough, don’t you think? But how do you act natural?
The body decides, not the brain
Our best tips on how to be natural are to do what the body wants, not the brain. In another way, we could say to choose the way of least resistance. Hopefully, it should all be easy when you get out of your head. Otherwise, you might benefit from experimenting on how your body really works. Let’s focus on your voice for a moment.
Your voice can tell you much about how you use your body. When your body and voice act naturally, your throat is relaxed. How loudly you speak is controlled by your belly. When we are stressed or feel uncomfortable we often “forget” to breath. So, we don’t use our bellies. As a result, we get a lot of tension in our throats. These are the things we want to investigate to act more natural.
Enjoy what you do, and do what you enjoy. Sounds familiar? Getting one of them right might be achievable, but getting both right, that’s really what you want to do. But it’s hard. So, where can you even start to make it better?
If you do what you enjoy, then you can start small. You can start focusing on the little joys of doing what you do. You can focus on enjoying more the things you do. You can put some effort into this because you know you are doing what you want to do. Exploring mindfulness might be a good place to start.
Are you doing what you want to do?
If the opposite is true, that you don’t do what you want to do, then a bigger change might be appropriate. If you know deep down that you want to do something different from what you do today, you might never be happy with what you have. No matter how much mindfulness you practice, you might never feel fine until you give up and settle for what you have.
If you read this article, I assume that you are not ready to settle. So, let’s start working towards your goals. Start by setting your goals, and start mapping out how to get there. Believing that tomorrow will be better than today is a powerful thought. That might just help you feel better today.
Fredrik Farstad – Writer at NEMPD magazine.
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