Interview Drama-“Can I Wear My Nose Ring to the Interview?”

Introvert Whisper.Com

How did my interview with the 27-year old go? I will let you decide.

 Her pink, green, and purple hair were a distraction to me.

One eyebrow was chartreuse, the other orange. That was a distraction to me.

Her black nail polish on all her fingers, with a “skull and crossbones” on each middle finger, was a distraction. For driving in NJ her finger art would be helpful, not so sure about Austin.

Her shoes did not match, that was a distraction. On one foot were a shoe and sock. On the other foot, a different style of shoe and no shock.

I like balance and symmetry. Her, not so much.

My personality vertigo was beginning to act up; her vertigo, not so much. I begin to think her vertigo has been cured with weekly satanic rituals that include the sacrifice of a plump, over-50 interviewee. Since this is the first of the week, I hoped her weekly satanic sessions were at the end of the week. Still, things are looking a little grim for me. She claims they have a weekly beer bash, but I know better. I imagine ominous organ music in the background.

One of us in the office/breakroom/hang-out area/sleep module/interview room had a nose ring, and it was not me.

The office/breakroom/hang-out area/sleep module/interview-room reminded me of a fraternity house. I was not in a fraternity (or sorority either) while in college. My interviewer, she was in the Kappa Kappa Spank Me sorority. Since I was not in a fraternity, why does the office/breakroom/hang-out area/sleep module/interview-room remind me of a fraternity house? The potpourri of rank beer, hot pockets, stale pizza, and week old barf with a hint of marijuana binding all of the smells together.

One of us had tattoos over 40% (90%?) of our body. It was not me. Just below her neck was a tattoo This Side Up. I was going to ask why she had to remind someone as to which side was up but thought better of it. Don’t ask the question if you don’t want to know the answer. There were too many answers to that question that I didn’t want to know or have explained.

I have nothing against tattoos. One good point, I no longer have to pay $10 at the county fair to see a painted woman. Now, I go on an interview and save the $10 for Starbucks.

What was my reaction to this dress code? I didn’t react. I answered questions, asked questions, and enjoyed myself. I thought about sunrises on Hilton Head, sunsets in Carmel and focused on the questions and answers rather than her nose ring, tattoo, middle finger art, satanic rituals, or the scary organ music I was hearing. The shoes, they kept my personality vertigo going.

All in all, she was an excellent interviewer. She was an artist. This was not a job or a chore. For her, interviewing was one of her areas of expertise. She was good. Her packaging – or looks – was unsettling, but the performance was wonderful. She asked great questions along with excellent follow-up. She did not ask any of the famously inane questions attributed to Google, Apple, Facebook, etc. interviews. Questions such as “Why are manhole covers round?” Or “How many gas stations will fit on the head of a pin?” Or, “If your printer has invisible ink, how do you know when it runs out of ink?” My answer: “The inaudible alarm goes off.” Or, “How many ping pong balls will fit up a horse’s ass?” By the way, don’t answer that question with “Well, Scooter, why don’t you bend over and let’s see.” Once Scooter connected that dot, my interview was over.

Back to my current interview – we had a very nice conversation and interview. She asked great questions. I had great answers. (That is my story and I am sticking to it.) The role would be an excellent match for me. The culture? I am not sure I am ready for the nose-ring, middle-finger art, This Side Up tattoo, mismatched shoe, Kappa Kappa Spank Me, weekly satanic ritual workplace.

 

It waIntrovert Whisperer.coms an interview to keep me in shape for other interviews. It was an interview that let me know there are people that want to know if you fit the culture and your ability to contribute. It was an interview that let me know no matter how startling they look they can carry an interesting conversation, listen intently, and provide wonderful insight without being arrogant, pretentious, conceited, or haughty. Yes, their chartreuse and orange eyebrows are disturbing, but that doesn’t mean they are not listening, that they are not engaged, and that they do not care passionately about their product and their clients and only want team members with similar passion and focus. It was an interview that set an exceptionally high bar.

There are books that tell you what to wear to an interview; that tell you questions to anticipate; that outline questions for you to ask. They don’t tell you what to do when you encounter a Chartreuse & Orange Interviewer. Or, hear scary organ music. Or, wet your pants.

I should write a book for interviewers: You Wore That to Where?!!?

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better. As for me, I am comfortable in the sanctuary of my bell tower – safely out of reach of weekly satanic rituals. Though for my next interview I might try that chartreuse and orange look along with a Navy suit and white shirt – it has possibilities…

Terry “Quasi” McKenzie

Life in the bell tower gets better and better each day.

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