Learning to Assert Your Opinions Is a Vital Skill
Do you find it difficult to assert your opinions, thoughts or direction difficult? Do you go so far as avoiding it? If you do, you aren’t alone. The good news is that you can learn to assert yourself without the cringe or becoming a jerk in the process.
I know asserting myself was especially tough as I had parents that made other strict parents look like pushovers. You did not assert your needs or opinions, especially if they differed from mom and dad. Being brought up this way made for many difficult times in my life especially as I launched into my career.
The good news for me is I’m a fast learner.
While I could probably write a novel on all of the lessons I learned around this topic of Assertiveness– I will spare you. I do, however, want to share one important lesson or observation I have made.
I’ve noticed that others subject people who are overly passive to a fair amount of abusive behavior. It’s an unfortunate aspect to us humans that if we can pick on a weak person, many will. I know, I know – we’re not supposed to do those things but it happens and if you think about this for a minute, you’ll realize that this is true.
I have witnessed very lovely people who would not assert their personal boundaries get some very bad behavior leveled at them by people who really were usually very nice. I’ve seen whole groups of people do things like a metaphorical “dog pile” when the first person sensed weakness. This comes from a primitive part of our brain. It’s about survival instincts. Although we no longer are as threatened by predators as we were in caveman days, the instinct remains.
Here’s the lesson: if you don’t want to be picked on, learn assertiveness. Your needs are as important as others.
Join me for: “Talk Like A Leader ” Constructive Confrontation – Feedback – Conflict webinar you don’t want to miss. Most people can stand to improve these skills so join me on October 26, 2016, at 1:00 pm CST